LIFE'S A BITCH.

just when i thought everything was going smoothly, it had to make a U-turn back to the problematic days. and i really thought i could have the perfect life, one that i was living just last week. last week was great, problem-free. but the 2 of you just had to turn it upside down, inside out.

why can't you just pay for the f***ing bills? i hate it whenever i ask you about it but end up giving me some shitty answer. why're you doing this to me? why're you making everyone suffer so much just cos of one stinking problem? just pay the damn bills so everyone can start living life NORMALLY. and you wonder why I turned out to be like this. you don't really bother about my whereabouts, you don't care whether i've gone broke or not, you don't care about the state our house is in, you don't really care about anything, do you?

and as for you, all you know how to do is whine, complain about him. why don't you do something about the f***ing problem then? it's time the 2 of you sat down and had a good talk about your current situations. i've had enough of this bullshit already.

i pray to God, every night, asking him to help me out, to help YOU out. why? cos i'm sick and tired of living like this everyday. it just goes on and on, non-stop. the nagging, the complaints, the whining, the constant reminders i get from you to clear my stuff.

i know it's hard for the 2 of you. but just spare a thought for all of us at home. why can't you act more responsibly as head of the family? i'm begging you, please stop this shit already. ever since you've been acting like this, i keep on thinking to myself, "why is it happening to me?". and i end up crying after that.

never in my life have i cried this hard before. no thank you for making me experience it.


i feel so f***ed up right now. go away.

i am soo tired. i finally know why i'm falling sick. i haven't been getting sufficient rest. i hate myself for being such a doofhead.

i can't sleep at night,
i lost 2 kilos just cos i haven't been feeling hungry,
i'm the only goondoo in the house who feels cold when all the others're feeling warm,
i keep on coughing at random times (cos my throat feels itchy),
i've got a major back ache from all the painting (not to mention my arms're aching too),
blisters're forming on my toes,
i pulled a muscle thanks to dance and,
my ankle problem's back.

i feel so helpless. this week has been a bad week for me. hopefully, i can start next week on a better note. it really pisses me off whenever i feel like this. tired, aching everwhere, i just can't seem to get enough sleep or rest! i always sleep at 12-ish then wake up at 7 or 8, and after that, i can never get back to sleep eventhough my brain's telling me it needs more rest.

i'm sick of this routine of mine. i just wish there'd be a day when i can sleep early and wake up late so i can catch up on my sleep. i hate feeling lousy, and it's not a nice feeling.

AIYAYA. lizee is aching and she's reeeeally tired.
went down to church today to help with the banner for ED's concert.
BAD MISTAKE.
ended up getting even MORE aches. haha.
what a bummer man.
then people popped in and out.
my eyes can hardly stay open now so lizee's gonna sleep now.
i needa go back tomorrow to help with the banner again.
haha.
so, g'night peeps. :D

OMG. i am in sooo much pain now. my ankle's killing me, and i finally got my blisters from SYF training. haha. but it hurts soo much! i've got 3 painful blisters on 2 different toes on the same foot. :\

to add to all that, i haven't been eating and i don't know why. i just don't have the appetite to eat. AND, i haven't been sleeping well at night either. every morning, i wake up feeling so tired but i can't go back to bed cos i can't. what the hell is happening to me? i haven't been feeling like myself lately. i used to get so excited when i go out to eat, but now i hardly eat at home.

i've got ugly eye-bags. :( oh well. thank goodness there's nothing on tomorrow. maybe except CYF. haha. it's kinda exciting i guess. :D

okay everyone, lizee's in much pain and she's tired.

CIAO.

I'VE FINALLY MADE MY IC! :))
i can now consider myself an ADULT.
HAHAHA.
lizee's bored :\

life after confirmation seems pretty normal, but there's definitely something that's changed in me. i've become soo much closer to God. hahaha. :D that's a good thing.

so anyway, time at home has been spent either on the com, or on the tv. bad habit that i've gotta kick. gotta start clearing out my stuff! hahaha. slept pretty late last night, was extremely hyper. so went online, chat chat chat, then messaged through the night. hahaha.

i slept at 3.30 am and woke up 6.35am. and i'm still hyper after only 3 hours of sleep. i can get so weird at times. HAHAHA.

okay, going out for breakfast now. gonna do my IC later. YAY FOR LIZEE! hahaha. i'll be back. :D

CHEERS! :)

CONFIRMATION DAY!
it was great
it was fun
it was a memorable experience
it was exciting
it was EVERYTHING!

hahaha.

wanted to take loadsa photos but mummy had my camera :\
so anyway, WORLD, I'M READY TO START THE BEGINNING OF MY CATHOLIC LIFE MAN. hahaha. just when our class was a teeny weeny bit closer, there's no more cat class. :( OH WELL. confirmation was still hell loadsa fun. :D

CYF, HERE I COME. :)

SYF practice was just horrid today. now, my OTHER toe nail's coming off. :( it bled after practice ended. PPSSHH.

so anyway, went out for breakfast in the morning first with dancers. then headed to school so we could practice a little. :D and surprisingly, ZAKI WAS EARLY TODAY. he came at like 11.45? RECORD MAN. hahaha. then he taught us new steps and all. he's making us do too many drops and spins. :\ oh well, at least i haven't gotten any bruises, yet. hahaha.

oh gosh. i'm bushed. SYF practice today was, surprisingly, super tiring. and my toe nail's dropping off. :\ it bleeds, then it dries up and it hurts like shit. URGH. but the steps're sooo nice! can't wait for SYF to be honest. PPSSSHH. i'm bored, in pain, and tomorrow there's technique training. more muscle-building for me! YAY! hahaha. i'm gonna have those long-awaited abs i've been wanting by the end of this year. *GRINS*

CONFIRMATION CAMP 2006!
i loved it, i loved it, I LOVED IT!
never in my life have i attended any kind of camp like this. i definitely learnt more about God and how much He loves us and stuff. and it's really heartwarming to see how nice our facils were. i had SERENA & LUCAS! they were really great man, couldn't have asked for anyone else :D

DAY ONE
reported to church, looked for my group, and surprise surprise, i had margaret, ariel and melissa in my group! hahaha. all IJ-ians. then there was andrew, alvin, bryan and ruben too. and my group was ST JOSEPH! so day one was mostly ice-breakers in our groups, bonding and blah blah. had loads of praise and worship sessions. total fun man.

DAY TWO
woke up, cleaned up and stuff. then headed down for breakfast. after that we had another praise and worship session with ETERNAL DAWN. they're really good ''musicians''! hahaha. can't remember what we had after that. then there was the BIBLE QUIZ! heh. ST JOSEPH ROCKED THE WHOLE CHURCH MAN. but actually, it was thanks to ruben's intelligence. hahaha. it's like as if he STUDIED the bible. cos he was the only one in our group who answered all the questions. hahha. HILARIOUS i tell you. LUNCH TIME! had some more talks by the different groups again. then we had to prepare for CONFESSION. and for some reason, when i was confessing, i started tearing. :\

SIGHS. then we had to read letters that our parents' wrote to us. i sorta had a little ''mas'' for mine, hahaha. daddy write the 'first reading' then mummy did the 'responserial psalm' then doofus boy did the 'gospel'. hahaha. it was sooo funnaye! so then, headed down back to the hall. played some ''mass dance'' thingo. SHALOM! hahaha. super fun. then headed back to our bunks and slept.

DAY THREE
woke up, felt super tired. cleaned up, went down for breakfast, had phototaking sessions with our respective groups. then went up for mass. mass ended, went back down to the hall for another talk by Brother Mike. that guy's hilarious man. after that, lunch time, then headed back to our bunks for CLEANING UP. :\ packed our stuff, tidied the room then chatted with my roomies fer a little while. hahaha. headed down, debrief, signed the camp banner; PRIDE IN THE NAME OF LOVE what a nice theme for the camp. :D then took some more photographs with our own classes. headed home after that.


and so, basically, camp was great. i'd rate it 7 outta 10! can't believe i'm saying this, but i'd rather be in camp right now. home-life's getting boring. oh well, at least there's dance and our final 3/6 class gathering tomorrow! PPSSSHH. it's been a looong school year already. time passes by really fast. bleah.


CONFIRMATION'S NEXT SUNDAY! i can't wait to get confirmed. at long last, the beginning of my catholic life. hahaha. i'm excited! :D

tomorrow's confi camp and i don't feel excited at all. hahaha. WHY? oh weeellll. i'm gonna be UN-CONTACTABLE from tomorrow till sunday. hahaha. phone-less for three whole stinking days. :\

today was kinda slacked. was suppose to go for maths but i woke up late and i had a bad headache. :\ heh, SORRY YUVA. so i practically watched tv until lunch time then headed off to school for exco meeting. technique class was cancelled so i went back home first.

took a shower, changed, then headed back to school for the briefing thingo. man, i could just swear that my mum was sooo embarrassing. SIGHS. hahaha. but it was quite funny though. anyway, after the whole talk, mum met mrs alex and they chatted and chatted and chatted. OH, and she made a new teacher-friend in school. hahaha. mrs valentine fam!

then they talked and talked and talked again. headed down to the coffee shop after that for dinner. i THINK there're only gonna be 26 people in class next year. :( so much for 3/6's class bonding time. oh well. life's unfair at times. hahaha.

CONFI CAMP'S ON FRIDAY!

THREESIXERS! our class gathering will be at Melanie's house. it's gonna be a POTLUCK thingo with loads of games to foster class bonding!

YAY. tomorrow's a special day! hahahha. but i feel so sick i don't even feel excited. :\ oh well, at least the voice's coming back. i still have a runny nose and a sore throat though. NVM, i'm getting better! i hope. hahaha.

had 11 hours of sleep last night. slept at 12-ish and woke up at 11.10 this morning. :D yes, lizee's a pig. sighs. i seriously have nothing to post about. except maybe about yesterday? hahaha. I GOT MY NEW WALLET. at long last. a proper, decent looking wallet. hahahha. got it from MANGO. :D i'm a happy/sick girl. hahahha.

OKAY. had some performance thingo at SP just now. super pooped now. got the flu bug, lost my voice, really bad sore throat, massive headache and i've got a runny nose too. :( so annoying. just how sick can one get? plus the hols have just started.

ANYWAY, tomorrow's mummy's birthday. may be going out for a steamboat dinner! hahahha. YAY! but gosh, i feel too sick to even go out anywhere. hahahhaha. oh well. felt sick at SP too, while waiting to go on stage. had a bad headache and a blocked nose. that's why i was so stoned. hahahha.

i'm too lazy to blog anymore. lizee's not feeling well. :\