cheryn wanted to fight with me :D

my supa cool nerd!

DINNER: some fruity rice - cashew nuts, raisins, pineapple, prawns, carrots, peas

SUPER SWEET RICE. haha.

jeansan, sinyee, joanna, christabel, lizee and ariel (with her arsenal flag :D)

MISS CHEW-ME-ON :D

we rule man

I SWEAR I LOVE 4/5'07

i hate to say this, but they're really the next best thing to 2/6'05. :D honestly, it's so much easier with a smaller class cos you get the chance to mingle around with everyone. AAH, 4/5'07 is my new love babeh.

SELF-AWARENESS CAMP 2007 :)

okaaay, camp was aiight. not much of a big deal but i thought it was gooooood cos i sorta know the different situations happening in class now. and since it's a much smaller class, i figure i could act less of a bitch and stop making wrong accusations and blah blah. it's time to learn how to be patient lizee, patient. hahaha, miss lim said she wanted to give me her gift of PATIENCE. :D

RAAH, i wanna go back. :( it's soopa fun man, like all the games and activities. FWAAAH. and oh, "crying session" went on pretty well man. i nearly wanted to cry, no wait. i think i did, but i didn't show it i s'pose, cos the room was dark and all (which is good for crying when in a group :D). then after dinner we had free time and all. URGH, had so many calls i tell you.

and y'know, the sad thing was that i cried again before going to bed. ppsshh, so annoying. some bloody asshole had to remind me of him. OH WELL, i think i'm more or less done with that jackass. hahaha. i mean, my life just can't revolve around him man. not like as if i wanna think about him my entire life, right? haha, yeh, lizee's moving on with her happy life. :)

i've got puffy eyes now. :( stoopid call. lalala, going fer mass with ernesta later then gonna see fireworks! GRINS. but it's raining cats and dogs here. :\

YAAAY! i'm so glad everything's almost back to normal. :) haha, FINALLY, after 36854383654 years, i'm returning back to my usual self. HOHO.

I'M NOT THAT EMO ANYMORE :)

yay for lizee! haha, OMGOSH, i haven't had any "haha(s)" in my posts for like ages. PPSSHH, see, that's what happens when a heartbroken girl has got nothing else better to do other than blog. :\ OH WELL, at least i've learnt how to add more "hahas" in my post? HAHAHA.

my golly, i don't believe i wasted my tears on him. lizee lizee lizee, why are you so dumb? HAHAHA. SELF-AWARENESS CAMP TOMORROW! :) can't wait man, been looking forward to it. TEEHEE, i'm kinda scared for self-awareness tomorrow man. like, everyone who went for it said there were "sharing sessions" that made them cry. :S i'm gonna bring my own box of tissue paper! just in case, cos you never know what might happen man. besides, i've got my sinus, so it's "AH CHOO!" the whole day and "sniff sniff sniff".

LALALA, for some reason, i feel like a happy girl today. heh, maybe cos i just realised how much of a doofus i was, trying to get over you. AAW, well guess what?

I'M SO OVER YOU, JACKAAAAAAAASS! :D

WHOO! that felt goooood. TEEHEE. OH OH OH! DANCEWORKS IS ON SUNDAAAAAY! hahaha, gonna go with my punani and my bombzaa. :) i can't wait!


call the radio if you just can't be without your baby (that's me! hahaha, NOT). okaaay, lame shit. i hope you regret making this decision asshole. :)

AS QUOTED FROM ALEX, "KILL ME!"

i hate you,
i hate your heartbreaking ways,
i hate myself,
i hate everything.

why did it have to happen to me? like, SHEESH, of all people, me. :\ how sucky can this get. i'm not getting anywhere i tell you, that whole idea of forgetting you can't happen anymore cos up till this very day, i still think of you. :(

i've never NOT thought of you, boy. eversince the day i met you, i've been thinking of you every, single, day. why did you have to leave me?

SHE'S IN A HORRIBLE MOOD

OMGOSH, i swear it's been a bad start for the new year. as usual, everything's gone all kuku, nothing went right for the past few days. PPSSHH. yesterday, i was sooo pissed off that i was on the verge of just walking outta my gramma's house and take a nice looong stroll downstairs, alone. :)

i may just do that tonight man, URGH, but i don't wanna walk alone downstairs. :( i mean, it CAN be nice sometimes, but then there're times when you wished you had someone to confide in when you're feeling all shitty. OH WELL. i HAD that someone for a period of time, but i guess it's too late to make up for anything. i cried last night cos i swear, everything was seriously damn ****ed up. thank God that kukumonkey called me last night man, otherwise i'd have gone downstairs to vent all that anger out. God know's what i'd do without that idiot. :D she never fails to make me smile. HAHAHA.

and today was the day that i realised my 2 older bros actually cared about me. they started asking what happened last night, GOSH, we never had those "3 older siblings talks" for like ages. it felt sooo good talking to them, just the 3 of us sitting in one corner of the bus, talking and talking. that really made my day. thank you boys. :D


@#$!, i swear this is so frustrating!! that image of you just doesn't wanna get outta my head. one minute i'm wanting you, then the next minute, i'm hating you while cursing and swearing at myself, asking why i had to meet someone like you. i admit, you really left a deep impression on me and from that day on, i never forgot all those memories. but just one mistake and everything changed. that certain someone somehow made a deeper impression on you and you totally forgot about me after that. any idea how my heart felt after she came into your life? it tore into tiny pieces, and no one could do anything to cheer me up.

i stayed at home most of the time from that day on, thinking of how i'd be able to forget you. those were the days when i stayed up, crying my heart out whenever they played love songs on the radio. i felt so lonely at that time, and i still do. no one understands the torture that i'm going through right now. but i'm learning how to cope now, i guess. this sucks, my life's going topsy-turvy, and there's no way to escape it.

one more thing, TO THAT FUCKING BITCH WHO SCREWED UP EVERYTHING FOR ME LAST NIGHT, GET A LIFE YOU ASSHOLE. go ahead and bitch all you want, stay outta my personal life would you. stop trying to find out how i hang out with and blah blah! how would you like it if i tried to find out who your boyfriends were and tell them all your secrets?! i swear you're the cause of all my problems. thank you fucker.

RANDOM POST

y'know what, fine, don't answer my message. i asked you nicely cos the thingo was too blur, but i get this shitty attitude from you, like as if you're in-charge of everything. get over it bitch. not that i want to be bossy or anything, but you can't always get things your way. learn how to be humble man. HUMBLE.

you probably think that i'm being a pain-in-the-ass, but honestly, who wants to listen to someone as bossy and bitchy as you? who'd even wanna speak to you? everytime someone says something stupid or doesn't agree with you, you go around bitching about that person, thinking you're always right and never wrong.

my gawd, i swear the whole world is turning against me or something man. i really hope self-awareness goes smoothly next friday. at this present moment, i'm kinda annoyed with the class (not the whole class though). i'm really trying my very best to prevent myself from screaming or showing you guys my temper. i don't wanna make that same stoopid mistake like last year. I'M TRYING TO CHANGE MY WAYS FOR YOU GUYS, DAMMIT. everyone's changing, drastically. and it's scary to see so many people being a bitch to you, really. somebody kill me.

ANYWAY, CNY celebrations in school today. my day started off real bad i tell you. no comments on that. so the usual mass and concert thingo happened, went up to class, blah blah, met ayunni after that. WE WENT DOWN ALL THE WAY TO WOODLANDS JUST TO MAKAN. hahaha, friggin fun with that bimbo.

went to ljs for lunch, and omgosh, we had loads of catching up to do man. like, we talked non-stop until we both split ways at around 3ish. hahaha. SHOPPING DURING THE JUNE HOLS WITH MY BIMBO! can't wait luh, i wanna go explore the rest of vivo. :D OH OH OH! ayunni's quote for the day;

"I WANNA KNOW HOW SEX FEELS BEFORE THE WORLD ENDS"

and mind you, we were eating when she said that stoopid sentence. then she started saying how sex was painful and stuff. i seriously wanted to spit my food at her face man. bimbotic sick-o. HAHAHA. i love my bimbo luh.





i know you want me, but guess what? I DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE. so thank you for breaking my heart, cos i wouldn't have wanted to carry one like this with a jackass like you. :)

VALENTINE'S DAY :)

alrighty, so i guess valentine's day didn't turn out that bad. my day went pretty fine actually. didn't manage to give out everyone's presents cos i left my bag somewhere else. :\ clever lizee. hahaha.

many thanks to those who gave me those sweet gifts. :) i bet y'all are out to make me grow fatter right. i got too many chocolates and sweets! hahaha, but so sweet of y'all to gice me something. so sorry to those whom i haven't given to yet! tomorrow ogay, you'll get yer lovely candies from me. HOHO.

OH, and omgosh, sinyee gave me this fortune cookie. guess what it read?! "YOU'RE PUTTING ON WEIGHT, TIME TO EXERCISE!" i went "OMGAWD" after that cos that was soooo true! hahaha, amazing what fortune cookies do to you. but it was so hilarious! i got many other things from juniors and classmates and blah blah. haha, but they were mostly sweets and chocolates. SWEETS AND CHOCOLATES. :\

nvm lizee, it's time to start exercising! must listen to what the fortune cookie tells you. HAHAHA. thank you so much guys, you guys're da bomb. :D

left for the hall after PE for the invest rehearsal thingo. and woah! invest was friggin funny with diana and shorini man. idiots made me laugh so much till my sides were hurting. HAHAHA. we made fun of almost anything and everything man. RAAH, but overall, it was GOOOOOD.

SO, had a good time spending valentine's day with your girlfriend(S)?? i swear you're sucha jackass. dunno how many times i'm gonna repeat mtself man. :\

LALALA, I LIKE JACKASSES..what a lie that was :D

school was kinda fun today man. we had 2 tests, not sure if i can get the grades i want but i think i'm capable of passing them. TEEHEE. bloody yuva's got 3 days of medical leave cos she's sick. :\ that leaves me sitting alone during accounts until thursday. HOHO, oh well, at least i get more space. :D

invest rehearsal after school, i swear diana joseph and shorini dhurga are super rough creatures i tell you. they smack and smack until you get red spots on yer thighs. hahaha, but i was super malu-ated during the rehearsal. loadsa stoopid stuff happened (shan't elaborate on any :D). damn embarrassing man. bloody diana was being an idiot. hahaha. and the petty pig of mine was trying to act all "innocent".

so anyway, decided to leace early fromthe rehearsal cos, seriously, it was a complete waste of time. we weren't even doing anything (apart from the sitting down and standing up for the guest-of-honour and blah blah). went to the interchange with the 2 kukuheads, got home and started on the valentine's day gifts (none of which were made for you).

OH MY SHYTES! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY PEOPLE! :) it's gonna be a busy day in school cos of invest and blah blah. hopefully, that'll help me keep some things off my mind. URGH.


it's valentine's day already. :( why did it have to happen before this very special day? and i thought i could surprise you with something. OH WELL, maybe next year (and on someone else too). thanks asshole.

OH MY SHYTES, I HATE MYSELF

lizee's getting sooo emo, i don't even know what triggered it. OH WAIT, stoopid question. HAHAHA. at least all that anger didn't bother me when i went shopping yesterday. :D walking around for 5 straight hours (WITHOUT SITTING DOWN) is goood man. i think i lost at least a kilo. GRINS. but it was ah ma's birthday dinner so i may have piled on those pounds again. RAAH.

i got my CNY stuff! all under 30 bucks, well done lizee. hahaha. i'm kinda addicted to STARBUCKS. okay, random shit. AAH, see, this is what happens when i'm either feeling shitty or damn f***ed up. POOF.


why do i feel like the whole world hates me? everything i do doesn't seem to be noticed. no one seems to care about what you do sometimes, and it somehow makes you feel like you've got no one to talk to, like you're all alone in this world. then all of a sudden, you're guardian angel comes. he makes you feel loved, like you're the only one he cares about in the whole world. you sacrifice so much for him, thinking he's the one for you.

next thing you know, he's fallen for someone else. how would you feel in my shoes, knowing the person you loved the most ditched you for someone else. horrible feeling i tell you. no one should be allowed to experience a heart-break. but thank you so much for allowing me to experience it, i'll never forget how it felt like.

can i make a confession? i think you're a friggin ass-holic jackass who only knows how to sweet-talk to girls and pretend to love them with all you're heart. there y'go. :)

@#$%! I THINK I'M FALLING FOR YOU AGAIN

i really don't know what to do anymore. i stayed up, reading a book (yes, i was READING A BOOK) until the wee hours of the morning. having only 2 hours of sleep, i wondered how i was going to survive in school. ARGH, OMGOSH, i'm sounding like a friggin emo kid again. :\

somebody puhleese give me a hard smack on the face. what was i thinking? i knew i couldn't survive school with just 2 hours of sleep, so falling asleep during lessons were expected. went to macs after school with ernesta to study for bio. woah, i swear she's a good tuition teacher man. we talked about so much stuff, and goodness, i really didn't realise how much catching up we had to do.

crossed over to church for mass at 5.45, i really needed to spend time with God. He was really the only one i could confide in but seems like i'm drifting further away from Him, rather than getting closer. and i thought i knew Him so much better after confirmation. turns out there's more to just praying to God, you really need to talk to Him, even when you're feeling like shyte. cos only He understands the way you feel, and everything happens for a reason.

but i don't get it, why am i not over you yet? i really thought i was, at one point of time, but that picture of you kept flashing back in my mind during lessons. yes, i admit, it was difficult to concentrate during class, but i didn't know how to get rid of that image of you! all i could ever think about was you.

then soon, all those flash backs of us having the time of our lives replayed in my head. i wanted to cry, but i fought back those tears. everything was all over, there was nothing i could do to turn back time. i just wished i'd treasured those special moments with you. that book that i was reading had to make things worst. "JUST PERFECT" was the title of the book. somehow, i could actually relate myself to the main character in book. her life was just as screwed as mine, until she found Mr. Right and blah blah.

then Mr. Right left her, she felt miserable, and i probably knew how she felt when she found out he'd left her. but in the end, he went back to her and they got married and stuff. and so, she found her happy ending, but i'm still waiting for mine to come. :( it's okay lizee, be patient.


****, i think i'm falling for you again. i know i said i hated you, but right now, i don't know what's going through you're mind anymore. you're sweet-talking to me again, what're you up to this time? trying to win my heart again cos some other girl ditched you? or is it cos you don't like her anymore, that's why you're coming back to me. this isn't a game, boy. you've been toying around with my feelings and i hate it! get a life dumbshit.

OH PUHLEESE, HONEY, DON'T MAKE ME HURL

school wasn't right today, i wasn't feeling well, val and farah got super duper high (farah's phone got confiscated by the OM and she was smiling away like nothing happened), ayunni was back to her emo self, and yuva was being her usual i'm-thinking-of-you-know-who self. :D

OH SHYTES, there's accounts tomorrow. :( i could swear accounts is a killer. URGH, i've seriously gotta buck up. lizee, you bitch! start concentrating on yer studies!! okay, i needed to get that out.

and everyday it's the same thing. the mintue i see you online, i just wanna run away from the com cos you're a distraction to whatever i do. OMGOSH, i don't even know if i'm over you for real. i always say stoopid things about you, but i don't even know if half the things i say about you are from my heart. maybe i just need to get all those rants out to feel better. SOMEONE HELP. i'm suffering in silence right now, i really don't know what to do with you anymore, boy. giving up on you seems like the easiest thing to do right now.

wait a minute, i forgot, i've already given up on you, eversince you tore that fragile heart of mine. OH WELL, typing it all out has made me feel soo much better. GRINS. okay, so i stay true to myself, you're still a jackass. :D I HOPE YOU'RE READING THIS, ASSHOLE.

& IT'S BEEN A TIRING WEEK

past week has been really tiring, especially during the weekend. saturday was spent at SYF practice in the morning, went home for lunch then went over to nina's house to do logistics for self-awareness. stayed there till 5.30 then went to simei to eat dinner with that bloody yuva.

headed over to BK and stuffed ourselves full, not to mention while listening to some horrible ah lian singing outside. :\ so after dinner, i was being a friggin nice person by going to PASIR RIS to follow that idiot (just so she could go to east coast for a party). took a 21 from the interchange, SHIT MAN, stoopid move. took me close to 1 1/2 hours to get home.

and TODAY was spent mostly at MOS burger. went fer mass in the morning with debs, went back home fer lunch then headed to novena to meet alex. surprisingly, I MANAGED TO FINISH ALL MY HOMEWORK THERE. GRINS. then yada yada yada, went back to ah ma's, watched the match, then went back home.

SINGAPORE WON THE ASEAN FOOTBALL CHAMPIONSHIPS!!

and OMGOSH, LIONEL LEWIS is hot stuff man. okay, random info. :D


i'm sick of looking at your pictures, i'm sick of thinking of you, i'm sick of listening to your voice. get outta my head will you. i don't know jackasses like you, cos your specialty is breaking hearts.

& I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE ONE

i never realised how one's week could go so bad, that all you'd wanna do is walk away from all those shitty moments and stare into space, not doing anything. i swear this has been one of the worst weeks ever (in my entire life).

accounts test
physics test
SS test
english compre test

yupp, all screwed, failed most of them. :\ the ONLY one i passed was (surprisingly) MATHS. the subject that i hated most man. BUT, according to ayunni and sameema, they say i'm becoming a nerd (just cos i've been doing my maths homework). HAHA. IDIOTS.

AAH, but the shitty moments didn't stop there. SYF's tiring now, i've gotta do friggin grand jetes for one part. OUCH I TELL YOU. hurt my knee cos i didn't land properly. PPSSHH. clever, clumsy lizee. there's practice tomorrow again from 8-10am!! and it's an every week thingo now. BLEAH.

and today, HORRIBLE. school was shitty (as usual), stayed back after school to do accounts, went to ernesta's place, then headed to church to go for mass. oh boy, i swear, going to church calms you down man. like, when i stepped into the church hall, i felt sooo peaceful. sighs, but then i saw some people that i didn't really wanna see, brought back all those horrible memories.

rushed back home for dinner, mum started screaming, jon got annoyed with timmo, josh was annoying, so guess what i did? i walked outta the house to go fer a walk and get some fresh-air. i swear, it was like a war-zone at home. that just didn't make things any better for me. everything seems so screwed in my mind right now, it's all jumbled up, like a jigsaw puzzle. i can't seem to fit the pieces together.


why did i have to see you? of all people, YOU. i mean, i thought being with you'd be the happiest moment in my life, but i guess i was wrong. you're a jackass. PERIOD. just thinking of you makes me sick, and to think that i sacrificed so much just to be with you. it was a waste of time, effort and energy. i'm sorry for being like this, but what you did truly hurt me, it created a deep cut that can't be healed, and not even you can mend it. you can't make it up to me anymore, it's too late, so stop trying.