Saturday, April 28, 2007
LET ME DANCE TILL THE DAY I DIE :)
WHOA, watching CJC's SYF 2007 item makes me feel like dancing man. no wonder they got a GOLD, they deserved it. WHOO, hot stuff i swear man. & the soloist (i think it's nicole yong, right? :D), she's the bomb man. her lines are so..PRECISE, so clear. RAAH, i think dancing runs in the yong family, hahaha.
my weeks been sorta emo-ish, SYF on tuesday and the results were out on thursday. yeah, go figure. hahaha, i was upset and annoyed, but now, i couldn't care less. like what Zaki and Mrs Zailee said, as long as we did our best, we shouldn't be disheartened with the results we got. i honestly think it wasn't my best (cos of the stoopid knee and the leg cramp :\), BUT, what matters is that we did our best.
still can't believe you-know-who got Gold man. c'mon lah, even ZAKI said we were BETTER than them, how unfair is that. bloody judges, bias people man, i swear. OH WELL, tough luck IJ. :( what cheaters, & they had an advantage with the long costumes and all! they didn't even have SEQUENCIALS. -POUTS. nvm, i'm still oh-so-proud of my dancers. :) it feels weird not having to go back to the dance studio after school nowadays. sorta became part of muh daily life, aye. HAHAHA, i wanna start having training again (eventhough it was tiring but yeah).
DANCE, DANCE, DANCE!
THAT'S ALL I WANNA DO :]
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
IT'S ALL OVER :(
it was so far away, yet so close. we worked our asses off like shytes man, & i think we did an UBER job yesterday. :) from NOVEMBER 2006 to APRIL 2007 (half a year?!), we've been training so hard and i swear, it was a very satisfying performance. even Zaki and Miss Wee said it was GOOOD, surprisingly. hahaha, and that coming from the both of them is very rare. so HOPEFULLY, we'll get at least a silver?
spending the whole day with the SYF-ers was gooood. we all helped one another and it was amazing at how much he bonded with each other man. this whole experience was awesome, but unfortunately, it'll be my first and last performance with IJ DANCE ENSEMBLE. :( how unfair is that? i should've just joined dance from Sec 1 lah, BUT NOOO, lizee had to go join rgym. bleah, why lizee, why. haha.
off to makan with some of the dancers after SYF. PRATA HOUSE WAS DA BOMB! camwhored for half an hour after that, then took a bus down to clementi mrt station. jocel, janice and i followed nutalie aaaall the way to the OTHER bus stop (we were making ONE, BIG, ROUND) just so she wouldn't have to walk alone. hahha, that cheeky one. then jocel, janice and i took a 105 home, super long journey. BUT! we kept each other occupied with lame conversations. haha, I LOVE THE PEOPLE WHO TAKE JANICE'S CAB. :D
all in all, yesterday lifted a heavy load off my chest. i can finally concentrate on my exams (although mummy says my MYEs aren't sucha big deal, since i'm in through-train -GRINS). raah, but i'm gonna miss those trainings with my favourites. no more dancing together, no more making Zaki PMS (teehee), no more "pow-wows", no more trips to Junction 168 for our supper. gosh, to think all this ended yesterday just isn't real man. the whole thing was over in just 5 mins. I WANT SYF TRAININGS AGAIN. haha, despite all the injuries and stuff, dance will ALWAYS be my thang man. :D
SYF DANCERS;
you guys did great yesterday man. you nailed all the diagonals and that was what made me so proud of y'all. every single one of you worked hard, VERY hard in fact. hopefully, the results will reward us all for all the hardwork and perserverence we put into the whole item. WE CAN DO IT DANCERS! no matter what the outcome, we've done our best and that's all that matters. :) LOVE YOU GUYS TO BITS <3
hey, you sexyboy. will i ever get to see you again? -GRINS you make my heart skip a beat everytime i see you, & when i saw that look in your eyes, i knew what you were thinking. :)
Monday, April 23, 2007
THANK YOU, SINYEE :)TOMORROW, TOMORROW, TOMORROW
SYF IS FRIGGIN TOMORROW AND MY LEGS ARE STILL LIKE @#$%. -pouts hahaha, but nvm. i'm sure the dancers will do just fine tomorrow. :) cos i have faith in them, just like sinyee does. :D hahaha, i swear she's the sweetest thing ever man. she gave me words of inspiration, words of encouragement, words of concern. RAAH, no words can describe how much of a dear she's been to me. HAHA, thank you sinsin. -GRINS i love you truckloads.
and to everyone else who has wished me all the best, i promise i won't let you guys down. haha, IJ DANCE ENSEMBLE's gonna kick some ass tomorrow on stage. hahaha, and hopefully, i can finally start becoming my nerdy self again. :D
aiight people, lizee's tired and she's gotta loooong day tomorrow. REST WELL DANCERS! WE'RE GONNA GET THAT GOLD OF OURS! g'night world. :)
Saturday, April 21, 2007
i suddenly realise that they're the best thing that's happened to me :)3 MORE DAYS, AN EMOTIONAL DAY FOR ALL
i think mrs zailee's about to give up on us. :( she keeps on saying that the teacher's have given us so much time, but we've hardly improved eversince the coke incident. HOW? i'm friggin scared now man. she gave us a "pow wow" talk, then khym started crying. :( i nearly wanted to cry too. can imgaine the amount os pressure she's under.
BUT IT'S OKAY KHYM! heh, IJ DANCE ENSEMBLE IS BEHIND YOU ALL THE WAY MAN. :D we're so gonna kick butt on THE DAY (at least i hope so). raah, unfortunately, i kinda injured myself..AGAIN. :\ i over-stretched a muscle so it was cram-ing like mad, i swear. it was so effing painful man, i nearly wanted to cry. sighs, hopefully, it won't affect me for the next 3 days.
we're gonna do it, syf dancers. i KNOW we can do it, we just gotta work our asses so hard, till it starts hurting. we gotta do it as a TEAM, as one whole IJ DANCE ENSEMBLE. so remember to SMILE, STOP LOOKING DOWN WHEN DANCING(!!), STRAIGHTEN OUR BACKS, POINT OUR FEET, AND THINK LIGHT! :]
yes, after much pain he was going through, Patch was finally put to sleep today, mid-afternoon. many fond memories of him will be kept, and he WILL be dearly missed. although i've said things like "i don't really care about the cats", i don't really mean that. i've grown up with them almost all my life, and they've taught me certain values that i cannot learn from anyone/anything else. i hope you've found your place in "cat heaven", Patch. i'll miss you. :(STOP TRYING SO HARD TO IMPRESS HER
today was just BAAAD. my blister had puss coming out, i had a deep cut on the other toe, i've got bloody scars from the dropping and rolling, my ankle's giving me problems again, and my knee isn't getting any better. HOW NICE, RIGHT? another THREE MORE DAYS till SYF and i'm suffering like shytes man. RAAH.
BUT, on a brighter note, school wasn't THAT bad today. :D MT was the best with nina, val and ayunni man (caroline was there too but she was soooo quiet, she was almost non-existent :P). i swear we should have classes in small numbers. hahaha, it's so fun! then we started complaining to cikgu about certain teachers and blah blah. bottom line: WE HAD SHIT LOADS OF FUN :)
then we had geog and F&N (which was highly amusing cos laugoh cried - YEEESSS!). it's a long story, teehee. some dramatic bitch she is. ANYWAY, recess-ed with some of the COOL PEOPLE FROM THE COOL CLASS :D. i wanna go to 4/6 :( but nvm, 4/5 is just as gooooooood. HAHA, cos we're all cool nerds man.
accounts and english were kinda fun too (surprisingly for accounts, haha). we got "personal tuition" from mrs chow while she went throughprepaid and accrued. and once again, i actually understood my work, YAY FOR LIZEE! haha, then we had english, but mrs alex had to prepare for a seminar (thus the dangly earrings and the pretty brooch :D). haha, so she couldn't come and baby-sit us. we were busy bonding anyway. hahaha, well, at least nina, ernesta and i were. yuva was being anti-social (what else is new?!). i swear, if nina and ernesta didn't come to school, i would've died half-way cos it was only the 4 of us in class today. HAHA. nina's hilarious man, i love her! :D
had dance after school, our last training with Zaki and Miss Wee. sighs, i'm damn scared man. i've got so many injuries but i'm just gonna push myself, cos it's my last SYF in IJ DANCE ENSEMBLE :( i don't care if it gets worst after the competition, heh, i just wanna do well man. unfortunately, Zaki and Miss Wee weren't too happy with our performances. OH WELL, we're gonna work our asses off for the next few days, aiight dancers? DANCE, EAT, SLEEP, STUDY, REPEAT! :D
y'know, it's real obvious that you're trying to prove to everyone that "you're the best". what's with you man, your techniques aren't even right, yet your correcting other people on how to do it, WTF? Zaki said to be humble man, unfortunately, you're the total opposite, aka, A SHOW-OFF. -GRINS and no one likes show-offs. i hope you die and go to hell one day :)
Thursday, April 19, 2007
TIRED, INJURED, 5 MORE DAYS
i'm terrified. another 5 more days and it'll all be over. are we prepared? no. are we up to standard? no. are we working hard enough? no. is God trying to tell us something? YES.
there're so many people getting injured! :( i'm scared for them. they work so hard, only to find that they can't compete cos they've injured themselves. please dancers, don't let anything else happen okay? we can't afford to lose anymore dancers. and for those who're injured, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES! it's so heartbreaking to see you work to hard, then get disappointed in the end cos of an accident that could've been prevented.
as for all the other dancers, WORK HARD AIIGHT! we're gonna do it, by hook or by crook. we'll work our asses off all the way till competition day. & we're gonna do it the IJ DANCE ENSEMBLE WAY, through our blistered feet we bind. :] i love you guys.
letting go was hard, but i did it. now you go back to your old ways, and i'm worried for you. why're you doing this?
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
thank you farah, for trying to make me smile :)SATISFIED AFTER ALL THE SHIT YOU'VE DONE TO ME?
i'm not looking forward to seeing your slutty face on friday. :\ pardon me for the vulgarities, i'm just trying to vent out all my frustrations and anger. it's all thanks to that bitch that i can't sleep in peace anymore. the minute i hear whatever she said to me the other day, i start crying, like shit loads of tears just pouring out from my eyes. i wake up with puffy eyes and dark rings around my eyes now, thank you ****er.
SYF rehearsal was torture+tiring=TIRED & INJURED LIZEE. my knee's screwing up again, HOW? big day's NEXT TUESDAY, i can't afford to get it worst man. nvm if i injure myself AFTER the dance, i could break a bone or whatever and not get worried, but other than that, i'm shaking inside. afraid that i'll screw up or slip or something. sighs.
mrs zailee's being such a dear to us. she's treated us to McDonalds, it's happened TWICE already. i swear i love her, cos she was never this way last time. she's doing her very best to try and boost our confidence, guess the rest is up to us to get that Gold with Honours, if not, Gold would do just fine.
i'm scared.
i'm stressed out.
i'm in great pain cos of the darn knee.
i'm worried that things won't go smoothly.
i'm worried about myself, for taking things too seriously.
i'm worried about my studies.
I'M WORRIED ABOUT MY LIFE.
lost in a little world of my own, i don't know what to do or how to react to things anymore. why does this always happen to me? maybe cos you're not here with me anymore, you've gone off to another planet.
i just can't let you go
my mind is not my own
& i can't eat, can't sleep, i'm in too deep
- Can't Let You Go, Jesse McCartney
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
TODAY WAS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE
guess what?! I SPENT HALF THE DAY IN SCHOOL, CRYING MY HEART OUT COS OF EVERYTHING THAT'S BEEN HAPPENING AROUND ME. and that bitch just didn't make things any better. she thinks we can all handle stress as well as she does, like wtf. go and die lah, you effing whore.
not everyone is like you y'know. some of us ca'nt take stress so easily. why don't YOU try putting yourself in my shoes. let's see how you handle all i'm going through.
try waking up early to go to school, just to get attendance from tjl at 7.15am.
then after a long day of school, you gotta go for syf prac (which sometimes ends at 7PM).
and after that, you're beat but you still gotta finish up your damn coursework.
you stay up in the wee hours of the morning, trying your best to finish it, but you just can't keep your eyes open any longer.
yes, you've missed the deadline to hand it in, but at least you bothered to bring it instead of not doing it at all.
next thing you know, this son-of-a-bitch teacher "throws" you out of class for not handing it up on time.
here you are thinking, "what about the other girls who handed it up late?!"
SERIOUSLY! so what if you work 7 days a week?! who cares?! i think you ought to know something, NO ONE IN THIS FRIGGIN WORLD CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU DO. we only know you for one thing, and that's for being SUPER BIAS to other people. all you ever think about is YOURSELF. "i'm sick and tired of chasing you people", "i dunno what to do with you people anymore", "i don't care about you people anymore". WTF?!
i can't be bothered about YOU anymore, you just piss me off even more everytime i see you. the sight of you makes me wanna hurl. you think you look so good in those low-cut tops, well guess what? you look like some woman who hasn't had enough to eat or forced herself to starve just to look skinny. and really, i kid you not. you're not even attractive, oh your poor husband. what did he see in you? GROSS MAN.
so my day started off with english, that was pretty cool. ss wasn't that bad either. the drama all started during maths. i just started tearing, i don't even know why. maybe cos i was tired, or couldn't keep up with what mr yap was teaching. sighs, and that was just the START of my bad day. MT was next and i couldn't take it anymore, i broke down in class and i couldn't stop. never in my life have i cried THAT hard man. it's was horrible.
recess-ed then headed for accounts (which wasn't that bad at all). i started crying again during F&N, all cos of that effing bitch. she really didn't understand what i was going through man, what an asshole. but anyway, i had my angels around me to try to cheer me up.
A BIG THANK YOU TO;
ayunni, farah, val and nina, for being my cheerleaders during MT.
ernesta, sinyee, mel, cheryn and everyone else for reminding me that i could do anything.
4/6'07 (well, some of them anyway) for asking if i was alright during F&N. eventhough i didn't know some of you very well, thank you so much for being there for me. COLLEST CLASS EVER MAN :)
and to all the others whom i've forgotten to mention, thank you guys so much for being there for me, for telling me to cheer up and that you guys'd be here for me.
all in all, i can't thank you guys enough. i really appreciate what you've done for me, and i say this from the bottom of my heart. just knowing that there're so many of you who're actually concerned about me makes me wanna cry. it's so heart-warming to see all of you act like this towards me, eventhough i may have been a little harsh with some of you. i'm sorry if i've been a pain in the bum to some of you, but your caring actions have really touched me. THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. LOVE YOU GUYS TO BITS. <>
i've got no more tears left in me, i've got no more energy left in me, i've got nothing else within me anymore. you didn't even bother to ask if i was okay, there i was, crying like no one's business yet you didn't even realise. so what if i was at home crying? what happened to me being able to vent at all my frustrations to you? empty promises indeed, please don't make my life any more miserable. it's worst than that as it already is. :(
Thursday, April 12, 2007
I SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU
my knee's effing painful! gotta go for physio man, ppsshh. sucks, big time. especially with my tight schedule for dance and school work and other matters, i'm stretched out completly. i don't even have time for myself (okay, maybe blogging and going online is considered "self time", but i want time for myself to go out and chill for once). i'm really, really, REALLY, stressed out.
first the ankle, then came along the knee, now there're blisters and bruises to add on to all that. my legs're aching like shytes, my back is aching shit loads too, my head's about to explode, my eyes are gonna shut any moment. i think i've got too many responsibilites to handle on my own, both at home and in school. i can't take the amount of pressure i'm getting from class, with all the tests and exams coming, i'm not prepared for a single one.
i screwed up my MT oral today, i hurt my ankle again today, i've got fresh bruises, my knee's giving trouble again. RAAH! i think this post is kinda repetitive aye. hurhur, where are you? i thought you'd here here for me, you promised me! URGH, why am i thinking about all this again? i thought i'd gotten over you, and i think i have. but i guess part of me still wants to keep you inside my heart (which is obviously not where you belong cos you were the first one to tear it). i'm sounding so emo again. :(
tell me, seriously, do you still love me? a small part of me doesn't wanna let go of you, and at this point in time, i really need you, badly. when are we gonna continue from where we stopped? is it even gonna happen? by the looks of it, it'd be a miracle if you even started talking to me again. i don't get a chance to see you on weekends, i don't get a chance to see you anymore. where've you gone to, dear?
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
THERE'RE JUST TOO MANY THINGS HAPPENING
& here are 5 reasons why i'm so stressed out;
#1 Dance is driving me nuts
REALLY! i kid you not man, my only free day is on friday this whole week. :( i've even got dance on SUNDAY. that's not the worst part, it's from 8-10PM!!! where? at UCC. pfft, my hair's gonna turn all white, i swear. there's morning run for dance tomorrow too. -pouts
#2 School work isn't coming along very well
yupp, i haven't been able to cope with school work, ESPECIALLY F&N. i wanna drop that subject so badly man, regretting opting for that stoopid subject. RAAH, i'm losing my precious, beauty sleep over the darn coursework. YOU SUCK, COURSEWORK!! i hate you.
#3 I'm not getting my qouta of sleep
WHY? cos of homework, coursework, homework, coursework, homework, coursework. i swear the government should just screw homework man. it's pointless to do homework when you don't even know half the things you write down. it's just really tiring, plus this whole new system for the class chairs, GOSH, that's another thing altogether.
#4 The amount of pressure I'm recieving in class
chairperson has to do this, chairperson has to do that. i can't cope! i can't even remember half the things i've got to collect/submit. it's driving my crazy! taking attendance is already a hassle for me. URGH, someone help me. :(
#5 Exams are around the corner, and I haven't done anything about it
i haven't studied for anything, anything. and when are my exams, well, english is NEXT WEEK. there goes the start of the stressful weeks. i can foresee myself breaking down during one of those days. HOPEFULLY, when SYF is all over, i'll be able to take a chill pill and concentrate more on my poor studies (which totally sucks right now).
i'm on the brink of destruction right now, i swear. it's just too much for me to handle and i can't really turn to anyone right now (okay, maybe except for one or two people, BUT STILL!). i just hope things will get better as the weeks go by. i'm tired of having to do this and that on my own. i'm tired of having to do so many things that my head could just explode at any moment. i'm tired of everything that's happening around me. I'M JUST PLAIN TIRED!
where are you when i need you the most? what happened to "i'll be here for you 24/7"? i'm hurt, but i guess i can't blame you. it was prolly my fault too, for not treasuring you. i'm sorry, will you come back to me? life without you seems so..dull. :( i still love you.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
oh yes, she may be annoying but she's still my lil sister :D
i simply ADORE them <3
outside, playing with chalk (with Josh trying to act like Mr. Toughy)
Miss i'm-better-than-you-at-art poses while in the process of completing her art work.
& this is supposed to be her work of art. :\ show-off
HAHA, that "punk hand" on the right is JOSH'S. i'm way cooler than that. :D
seriously, don't we look cute? HAHA.
GET THIS STRAIGHT, I DON'T LIKE YOU :\
i'm emotionally and physically drained man, i swear.
i'm deprived of sleep,
there're just too many things going on in my head,
i can't cope with dance and homework at the same time,
studies are going down down down,
rate of injuries are going up up up ,
i've had just about enough of
that last point is a really looong story, don't bother asking cos i'd start stuttering and tend to repeat myself at times. :D anyway, Easter Mass at the Cathedral was gooood. i've never heard such nice choir music for sucha long time man. :P a wonderful treat indeed. lunched at some beef ball place after that, GOOD STUFF MAN.
headed off to Hans after that, Jon was gonna treat us to desert since it was Easter, haha. headed home, read my book, helped out for pot-luck then went down to meet _ _ _ _ _ _ . oh good golly, i tell you, i was EXTREMELY speechless by what he said man. guess you could say i was kind of in an awakard position to say anything cos it really stunned me.
shan't go into details though, don't wanna publicize it now, do i? sighs, why's this happening to me? cos of that whole incident at the playground, i wanna avoid him as much as i can. i'm sorry dude, but really, i don't know what to say. i'm stunned.
just leave me alone okay? i've had enough of this nonsense already, this whole "i like you" thing, it doesn't make any sense at all! i barely know you for a month and POOF! you tell me that?! you're nuts man, really. madness.
yeh, we talked about our past, and thank you for reminding me what happened then. that whole crush thingy, "i'll be here for you 24/7" shit, then the hearbreaking scenes. GOSH, i just realised how much i miss him. :\ i think i need a
Monday, April 02, 2007
I MAKE BELIEVE YOU'RE CLOSE TO ME
school was utterly boring today, no lessons for the first half of the day cos our subject teachers weren't in school or busy attending to something. our only proper lesson was MT and physics (which was extremely boring). i could've dozed off during physics man.
i think the only fun lessons i had were during MT and maths. mt was fun cos i had farah and val to keep me occupied. we had our fair share of rants and bitching sessions. and maths was my other bitching session with ayunni. haha, i swear it's shit loads of fun with the 3 of 'em. :) they never fail to brighten up my day. HAHA. I WANT MORE MATHS AND MT LESSONS! -GRINS
& i swear OLIVER JAMES is the hottest thing alive right now man. i don't know why, but i've gone all crazy over him. haha, he's seriously hot stuff man. AYUNNI, STAY AWAY FROM HIM! HE'S MINE, YOU CAN HAVE WENTWORTH MILLER. hahaha. i love Mr Hottie's songs, so sweeeeeet!
everybody wants to be loved
every once in a while
we all need someone to hold on to
just like a helpless child
can you whisper in my ear
let me know it's all right
Oliver James - Long Time Coming :)
& this song's dedicated to me, myself and i. hahaha, hopefully, i can find that someone to hold on to one day. :)
Sunday, April 01, 2007
FRIEND OR FOE?
seeing you change into a **** just breaks my heart. what used to be the old you i knew has vanished and yeh, i honestly can't be bothered about it anymore. it's not like you bother about it either anyway. it's okay lizee, be thankful you've got yer other sweeties in this world. :D
& this week has just been THE worst week ever. first of all, i tried to be a smart alec by doing 2.4 on saturday with a screwed knee. i thought it was okay since i didn't feel any pain before that, but i guess i was wrong. it was friggin painful after the run man, my timing's slower now. :(
and second of all, my phone screwed up on me after the run too. the bloody sim card got rejected (long story) and now i gotta buy a new one (which is gonna cost me another 18 effing bucks, on top of my bill). SOMEONE PLEASE STRANGLE ME NOW, I'D BE MORE THAN WILLING TO GO AT THIS POINT IN TIME.
i guess that's about it, haha. OH, i bought my LIME mag today, was reading through the horoscope section and it said that there were more problems for me to solve. BUT! they said they were old problems so i just gotta find new ways to tackle 'em. not bad aye, i've stopped sounding so friggin emo man, GOOD JOB LIZEE! haha, self-praising always works if you wanna boost yer ego. :D
dang it, i've got technique class tomorrow, then syf prac is on tuesday, on top of all that, i gotta finish up projects due wednesday. :\ nvm, I CAN DO IT MAN. hoho.
be mine, boy :)
