Thursday, August 30, 2007
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 2 :D
i think watching High School Musical 2 with Debs today just made my day man. IT'S A REALLY GOOD MOVIE, i swear man. both of us got so high when i found the video online, my gosh, it's just REEEEEAAAL good! highlight of the day, indeed. :D
i've been in a good mood after watching HSM, i guess that's a good thing. haha, haven't felt this good for such a long time! special thanks to you guys for asking if everything was all right. (: i owe you guys a lot.
okay, i'm off to do my Teacher's Day gifts!
some things just haven't been settled yet, but oh well, i can't change them.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
I JUST DON'T BELONG HERE
Everybody's always talking at me
Everybody's tryin' to get in my head
I wanna listen to my own heart talkin'
I need to count on myself instead
Did you ever
Lose yourself to get what you want?
Did you ever
Get on a ride and wanna get off?
Did you ever
Push away the ones
You shoulda held close?
Did you ever let go?
Did you ever not know?
it's frustrating to have so many thoughts in your head, and not know what to do with them. my whole week's just been full of shit, honestly. math prelims were all right, i'll be able to pass but not get my A. and today someone asked me what the class was gonna do for Teacher's Day, then i suddenly realise that i haven't planned any goddamn thing yet. it sucks to know that the whole class sorta depends on you to make the arrangements for occassions in school/class. i've failed the class yet again. FUCK!
there're so many things happening now, things to solve, things to plan. my mind's going crazy just thinking about them. i thought i could depend on some people in class, trying to help me with admin stuff and whatever, but i guess not. they can't work with me, i can't work with them. my head's gonna explode, everything's just cramming up and i can't seem to get anything done. i need to scream, let everything out. no one (except for a few people) knows what i'm going through. i can't go on living like this, this year's been so stressful, not to mention emotional too. AARGH, i don't know what to do anymore!
i hate living everyday of my life like this! losing sleep over matters, crying cos of people, not able to concentrate in class, I'M SICK OF IT ALL. everything's just so fucked up, i've lost the happy girl in me, i cry whenever i think of how much shit i'm in. just fuck it all..
i hate everything that's happening to me now.
Monday, August 27, 2007
LEFT IN THE DARK + EXAM STRESS
today was just fuck, fuck, fuck. i wish we could've spoken to each other for a longer period of time, but since we were interrupted, we had to put our conversation on hold. i didn't know you were so upset, i could've sworn i didn't have any intention of this happening. fine, so it's not a small matter, and fine, i may have been the cause of it, i'm sorry. ): i never thought our friendship would be at stake like this. everything's happening so quickly, i can't keep up with anything.
math prelims are tomorrow, TOMORROW. am i prepared? fuck no.
then there're other issues that i'm stuck with, and have i thought of any solutions? fuck hell no.
are things in school going well? umm.. NO?
is everything all right at home? I DON'T FRIGGIN KNOW ANYMORE
are you needing/missing someone/some people now? FUCK YES
how 'bout EMO LIZEE, is she back? BALLS YEAH
i cried 3 times today. was walking home and i suddenly started tearing cos i was thinking of all this nonsense that's happening. then i nearly cried again during dinner, and i'm tearing now even as i type this. sometimes i wonder why i live such a fucked up life, why do i do these things to myself? i've got a prelim paper tomorrow and all these things have to come running to me the day before. how does one concentrate for a math paper with all these provoking thoughts in her head? i'm doomed.
ever had the feeling where you think the whole world's got something against you? where you find you're not in the right state of mind to do anything? well i, fortunately or unfortunately, just feel like lying in bed and stare into space. i think it's gonna be another sleepless night, how exciting aye.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
GOTTA GO MY OWN WAY
burnt again, long story. today was relatively fun. went to serangoon to meet ping pong and co, was baking in the sun with Cheri till about 1230ish. then headed to Kovan with Kenji and ping pong cos Kenji had tuition there. ping pong and i decided to go to AMK instead to eat then study. so we took a train there, went to the foodcourt to eat then headed to ping pong's house.
waited at the void deck for him to bathe and stuff then headed to the library to meet Tarcia. waited so long just to find a miserable table for 3 of us man. i swear if i could, Tarcia and ping pong are hilarious. :D headed back home for dinner after that, Aunty Ophe was gonna buy us all dinner, so we went to Cafe de Hong Kong. food there isn't fantastic at all, don't ever go there.
staying up late again to do work! but for now, it's SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ON NICKELODEON! :D
why're you doing this to yourself? you're the one who's complicating things, not him, not me. i'm upset cos we're not on talking terms, all just cos of one incident. how do i tell you things when you don't even wanna talk to me? sighs, poor ping pong's got his mind all fuzzy too. OH WELL, what can i do. ):
Friday, August 24, 2007
I MISS DANCE ):
i just realized that i haven't danced in ages man. Promenade wasn't counted cos it's not really dancing, hahaha. i wanna do Dance Night all over again! i know this is random, but what the hey, i'm more or less known for being random. :D what i need is a large space to move around man, i feel so confined at home cos the furniture's in the way. bring on the dance studios when, and if, i get into La Salle man!
school was BORING today. skipped assembly in the morning, LOOONG STORY. :D haha, Ernesta, Vaan and i didn't know what to do when we didn't hear the music to go down for assembly, so we just stayed in class. we would've been too late anyway. heh, thank goodness Miss Lim wasn't there for assembly. PHEW MAN.
didn't go for session todaaaay, woke up late. besides, Jon and Debbie weren't going, so i might as well not go right, don't wanna go home alone. heh, oh well. i'm off to do work now, time for me to start becoming a cool nerd again.
you insensitive plebeian, i can't believe you're like that. i woud've thought you were a nice person, till i really got to know the real you. no wonder so many people dislike you. :\
Thursday, August 23, 2007
PAPERTHIN HYMNokay, so now Socks's gone, then there were 2 - Stripe and Princess. oh well, i'm gonna miss Socks's meow. ):
ANYWAY, school was so-so. stayed back with Cheryn and Jade after school to keep Cheryn company while she had detention. hahaha, aren't the cool nerds so sweet? :D was supposed to do math, but i ended up talking to Cheryn about different matters. hahaha, i love her man, i swear. and Mrs Alex said Tinky Winky's GAY. :\ HAHAHA, it was hilarious man. oh oh oh, recess was goooood too. Jade and i were laughing our heads off cos of Ernesta. my class is the bomb man, WE OWN THE THIRD LEVEL (since everyone else has prelims :D)! going to school is such a joy, especially with them. (:
i'm tired, gotta finish coursework now. ): ciao peopple!
it's a cold, wet night. ): nvm, i'll get ping pong to keep me company. :P
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
TIME & CONFUSION
that picture above was put at random, haha, i just thought it was cute. :D cikgu's got one up on the whiteboard in class too. still remember the first time when we saw it, Nina added a little extra bits to make it "complete". hahaha, i swear if i could, malay class would be boring without her. (: PE wasn't as fun as it used to be today. played Captain's Ball cos some people wanted to play soccer instead. fell down half way cos Ariel landed on my ankle, now it hurts a little and i've got a bruise on my knee. ): hahaha, nvm, i'm still alive and well yo!
recess was more or less spent with Cheryn and Yuva, and by golly, i love them to bits man. Cheryn and her Po, Yuva and her Dipsy(?), and me and my Tinky Winky. TELETUBBIES, WE ADORE! :D hahaha, i've got stuff to tell y'all man. SO EXCITING! hahaha, Bio wasn't that bad, surprisingly. i actually managed to keep awake for Mrs Chu's whole lesson. :D i'm proud of you lizee! hahaha, F&N wasn't too bad either. Mrs EWT didn't come, so Mrs Lim took over. attempted to finish my coursework, but obviously i was a little fidget-y, thus not being able to concentrate on what to write for my conclusion. heh.
went to makan with Cheryn, Joanna, Yuva, Fran and Peiting after school. Bak Chor Mee was a so-so, nothing fantastic. hahhaa, the one near my place is a lot nicer. :D shall bring y'all there one day after Os, super shiok man. haha, then after Yuva and I finished, we headed off to the bus stop so that i could take a bus to AMK to study. and i must compliment ping pong for being ON TIME for once. :D hahha, except i was late this time. heh, WHOOPS! now you know how it feels whenever I gotta wait for you. -sticks tongue out
headed to the library, couldn't find any space so we headed off to Macs instead. then the manager told us that there wasn't any studying allowed, so we had to move again. crossed over to KFC and plonked ourselves there to get some studying done. then blah blah, finished most of my Paper 1s from the Math 10-year series. slept for awhile after that, was waiting for ping pong to finish his summary. went off to AMK hub after that, started annoying me with his usual habits again. i had to re-tie my hair at least 4 times cos of him. :\ hahaha, he's so gay (josh totally agrees with me :D). thanks for making my day today. (:
i didn't mean for this to happen. i had no intention of doing any harm to you. ): now you're disappointed with me, upset with me. how do i work this out? are we ever gonna start talking again? i miss laughing my head off in school with you, i miss our Night Study sessions in class, i miss "TLOK-ing" with you. by the looks of things, i don't think we're gonna be on talking-terms for quite some time. ): i'm really, really sorry.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
SHIT, SHIT, SHIT
i'm tired. really tired. sleeping at 3am and waking up at 5am in the same day doesn't work for me. last night was crappy, i was literally stoning in bed for an hour before deciding to listen to the radio to keep me company. woke up, got to school, emo lizee all the way till after recess man. before recess, during F&N, i nearly wanted to break down, for almost no reason. first half of my day was just real shit lah. it was like @#$%! i think what yuva said might be true man, but oh well, many thanks to those who asked if i was all right. (: you spoilt my day, you made me cry last night just thinking about it.
went for session today, not too bad i guess. stupid slides, malu-ed myself cos of some hyperlink shit lah. :P so sue me for acting so blur, i survived the whole day with just 2 hours of sleep, not a pretty sight if you see lizee looking tired and emo. :\ i'm in a major dilemma man, i seriously don't know what to do anymore. ernesta was so afraid to talk to me cos i looked pissed, haha, she's so cute. then she finally found out what happened and started asking "lizee, are you all right? are you sure? i'm just a phone call away babe." sighs, what would i do without people like her brightening my day. it's people like her that make life worth living for. i should never have asked about it. why did i meet you in the first place?
i miss those times when i was in Sec 1 & 2. everything was just right then - no problems to tackle everyday, no thoughts that couldn't make me sleep, no worries that made me lose concentration in class. there were people who made me forget about all my troubles, they made me smile everyday, they made me laugh everyday, they made life exciting.
then came Sec 3 life, the beginning of all my problems. a newbie class chair who didn't know how to foster class spirit, or promote some form of bonding between the people in class. sure, i was a shithead, i was a lousy class chair, people hated me for doing such a @#$% job. i took everything so seriously, i didn't know how to have fun. then that horrible year ended, and new troubles aroused toward the beginning of a new year.
it took me quite some time to get over certain things. people kept coming and going, i didn't know what to do. i've lost so much sleep this past year. my eye-bags are disgusting, my brain's not functioning properly, i've got thoughts running all over my mind. everything's in a mess, but what can i do. i made mistakes, too many for my own good. but how do i correct those mistakes now? i feel so hopeless. someone slap me, emo lizee's back, again. sighs..
i thought wrong about some things, i really did. how could i have overlooked these minor affairs? i've upset people, i've hurt people, i've annoyed people. i spend time at night, thinking about all these issues. looking through my diary last night, i realized that there were many obstacles that i conquered in life. all these matters took place just this year, 3 out of 7 made an impact in my life. forgetting will be difficult, turning over a new leaf won't be any different. i'm sorry.
"this time was different
felt like, i was just a victim
and it cut me like a knife
when you walked out of my life
now i'm, in this condition
and i've, got all the symptoms
of a girl with a broken heart
but no matter what you'll never see me cry"
Thursday, August 16, 2007
SHUT UP AND DRIVE
i've been sleeping earlier than expected for the past few days. hahaha, that's a good thing i guess. but i still end up sleeping in class. pfft, bad habit i tell you. math prelims are in 12 days, can't afford to doze off during Mr Yap's class anymore. hahaha, if not for Anna and her noise, i'd prolly be in Lalaland for 2 periods, 3 times a week. :P and oh my, that mok test that Mr Yap gave, I PASSED PAPER 1 MAN. he's prolly gonna make us continue with Paper 2 tomorrow. i'm ready for it, BRING IT ON! :D
lunch with Mel, Sinyee, Olivia and Peiting was good today. hahaha, haven't had this much fun with them in a long while. YOU GUYS ARE MY BOMBS. :D hahaha, i miss being in the same class as them man. we laughed like no one's business at Fork & Spoon, Mel and Peiting went kuku. hahaha, we gotta have another outing soon! :D oh, and Miss Lim called me twice but i didn't pick up, heh. was supposed to stay back to help with the notice board thing, but i forgot i had my lunch outing. haha, she's gonna murder me tomorrow. first thing in the morning when she sees me, she'll go "Miss Lee! why didn't you pick up my call yesterday?!" i can just imagine that already man. HAHA, typical Miss Lim. :D
bleah, i'm feeling tired again. :\ i feel like such a pig (shut up Olivia, don't say anything). hahaha, i'm going for morning run again tomorrow! time to get rid of all that flab man. :X okay, i gotta pack my stuff for tomorrow, stupid brother of mine's forcing me to go for session tomorrow just cos HE'S doing it. :\ hahaha, nvm, Ming, Jeremy, Debbie and i will go just to laugh at him. :D sighs, i love Fridays. (:
nina's gotten me addicted to Rihanna's "Cry" man, it's soooo nice! hahaha, i like the lyrics. :D
"But no matter what, you'll never see me Cry"
sighs, reminds me of something/someone..
Monday, August 13, 2007
DING DONG :D
don't ask me why i drew that pic above. i was feeling happy and bored at the same time, so i opened Paint and started doodling. HAHAHA, boredom does this to you. -points to picture above :D gosh, i'm tired man. 2 free periods today, cos Ms Yip didn't come to school. so Cheryn, Jade, Ariel and I started talking about EPL matches and how some of the players are friggin hot. HAHAHA, it was hilarious. MAN UTD ALL THE WAY MAN! then there was this big hooha about how some of the teams played and stuff, friggin funny man. :D
and oh my, if you missed last night's Man U match, you missed out on a lot man. hahaha, Kriston was in the field for 45 seconds before he got a red card. :\ HAHAHHA, Jeremy, Daddy and I were laughing our guts out man. it was soooooo hilarious! hahaha, and my Rooney got injured. ): hairline fracture on his foot maaan, so he can't play for 3 months. i tell you, if he was still playing in the second half, Man U would've scored a goal man, not draw with Reading. :\ disappointing, disappointing, but oh well. :D it was a match worth staying up for. hahaha.
didn't really manage to catch the last few minutes of the match though, cos i was interrupted by a phone call. :\ HAHAHA, i just realized something. we always make funny sounds over the phone man, hahaha, and our favourite words are "WHAT?", "WHO?", "SQUARK?", "FINE". HAHAHHA, that's just plain retarded lah, stupid Petty Piggy Ping Pong. :D
i'm proud of you, 4/5. i'm so glad i've got you people in my class, today's "sharing session" was really an eye-opener for me. i'll do my utmost best as class chairperson to make life in school more fun for you guys. (: THROUGH-TRAIN'S THE BOMB.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
i can't wait for thailand with you guys (:BITCHY ME, TRALALA :D
AIIGHT MAN, i cant wait for thailand, i swear. alex and i have planned out everything already maaan. hahaha, i'm excited! we're gonna have shit loads of fun and have lots and lots of QUALITY TIME together. :D last night's conversation with her was just retarded, soooo much to catch up on man! hahaha, we need an outing soon, dudette! :D
hahaha, went cycling yesterday! i'm friggin burnt now, cos we went at 12noon. retarded right, now my nose hurts, can't even scrunch my face up. hahahha, it's all red. ): now i've got an uneven tan man. pfft. nvm, hahaha, sentosa it is after Os! :D and that stupid buffalo keeps touching my nose. :\ such an ass man, i swear. hahaha, beg me for s'more coins lah! hahaha, be thankful i gave you a gold coin okaaay, i gave the others silver ones. :D HAHA, stubborn grandma. :D OH OH, did i forget to mention, OLIVIA FELL ON HER BUM WHILE BLADING. :D HAHAHA, i should've been there to witness such an occassion man. :D hahaha, poor fatty. teehee.
so my day went fine, until towards the end. some things just got outta hand and yeah. BUT NVM, i can't really be bothered about it. shall just let it slip from my mind. i've got enough shit to handle as it is, you people don't have to make matters any worse, thank you. (: hahha, whatever, i'm not gonna let it affect my happy mood now. TRALALA.
yeah, everything's kinda in a shitty position now. i'm trying to find means and ways of tackling those bloody obstacles, but oh well, looks like i'm not getting anywhere now, am i. IT'S OKAY LIZZLE, you'll solve 'em one day, ONE DAY. (:
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
SMELLY DURIANS ARE A NO NO! :D
hahahaha, NATIONAL DAY CELEBRATIONS in school today were hilarious! hahaha, except for the mass bit. :X nearly fell asleep, but oh well! had promenade rehearsal after that. i swear i hate the leotards man. it's so.. UNCOMFORTABLE. hahaha, haven't worn one in ages man, bloody incomfortable. :P
SO, went home after that to change, was suppose to meet the buffalo at 2.30, BUT SOMEONE WAS LATE, AGAIN. as usual man, hahaha, forever late. :D hahaha, then we went to the library at AMK (i didn't know there was a library there :P). hahaha, that stupid ass got me laughing like a hysterical monkey again. :\ total malu-ation i tell you. hahaha, he's an ass, i swear. :D
then we studied till about 4.45 before someone said he was hungry, so we went to AMK Hub to go eat. or rather, so that he could eat. hahaha, after he finished makan-ing, we went to walk around aimlessly, laughing at the dumbest things ever. HAHAHA, then he said he felt like DURIAN, so he bought durian (apparently, he bought one for me too :\), and asked me to try it. i said hell no man, that's the last thing i'd try. HAHA, he ended up torturing me with the smell after that. and he did the most disgusting thing ever.
he spilled some durian filling onto his hand, naturally, once you lick it up, the smell would still be there right? i told him to go wash his hand, then he said, "before i go wash my hand, just one more thing.." next thing i know, he smears his smelly hand on mine then runs into the toilet. i swear i'm gonna kill him man. HAHAHA, i shall wash my hand with Dettol. :D
and and when we were walking toward the bus stop, he asked if diana told me any of his habits. i (obviously) didn't know what he was talking about, but too late! he pulled the rubberband out from my hair. :\ hahaha, so yeah, he let me listen to his retarded music while waiting for the bus. :D i think today was fun. :D HAHAHA, durians were the highlight of the day! :D
thanks for everything today man, HAHAHA. from the retarded phone convos, to making me laugh for no reason, to the outings with your cousins. hahaha, everything's the bomb. :D
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
DONUTTY DAY!
i'm stuffed man. hahaha, looks like i ate too many donuts. :X making them was fun! hahaha, i was feeling high yet tired at the same time. was kinda hilarious actually. HAHAHA, like, i could've dozed off while waiting for the donuts to rise, yet laugh at myself for no reason while waiting. :\ HAHAHA, damn retarded man. but oh my, i'm dead tired now. hahaha.
went for morning run with fran and yuva. it was the bomb. :D hhahahaha, only ran about 1.6km though, cos there was PE later in the day. & PE WAS FUN! hahaha, played NETBALL again! MY TEAM WONNN! hahahaha, shut up lizee. :\ HAHAHA, shit, i'm getting high again. hahahha. recess was whoooo. hahaha, camwhored in class with the same 'ol people whom i love to bits. :D fell asleep during bio after that. TEEHEE.
AND OH MY, last night, i had THE MOST retarded conversation over the phone man. it was so retarded, that we just kept on laughing for no reason for 20mins straight. :D HAHAHA, funny shit man, i swear. :D AGAIN, AGAIN! hahahah, panadol and coke, anyone? HAHAHA, this is all your fault. :D
i'm out the next few days! hahaha, yaaaaay. :D fun this week, mug like mad next week. :D
Sunday, August 05, 2007
BAYBEATS 2007
apart from the oh-so-crowded Esplanade, i think this year's Baybeats wasn't that bad. haha, only stayed for 2 bands though (one of which was a complete waste of time watching :D). hahaha, they just kept on repeating themselves! "i love you, i miss you, i love you, i miss you." and there was another one, "i see a rainbow in your eyes, a rainbow, a rainbow." HAHAHA, it was hilarious! Liz and Becky thought it was a rubbish-y band. haha, yesterday was fun! :D
but as usual, Lucy was late (again). no, wait, what else is new? HAHA, even Liz and Becky say he's always late. SO, we met at Dhoby Gaut, went to KFC for dinner then to the arcade. hahaha, the DDR game was hilarious. :D then off to City Hall at 8pm, stopped for ice-cream cos Liz and Tarcia wanted some, then to the Esplanadeeeeeeee! it was packed, smokey, loud (i like :D) and awesome man. haha, except for the repetitive band. :D Urbanders(?) were goooood, some band from the Phillippines. i want their album. haha.
decided to leave at about 10 to go to Lau Par Sat for supper. then we bumped into Liz's family and some other relatives. hahaha, they're sucha funny bunch of people, really! and then they were gonna go bowling but i had to go already, i got a free ride home. (: HAHA, they just really made my day luh. thanks for everything, guys! :D
you're a BFH. (: HAHAHA.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
GO AHEAD, BITCH ABOUT ME
call me whatever you want - despo, fucker, bitch, whatever. you wanna pick a fight? go ahead. i can't be bothered anymore. go ahead and assume things, just like everyone else. if you're not happy bout me talking to him, why don't you just tell me. do you really have to result to blogging about it, telling the whole world that i'm a despo and that you're jumping to conclusions? i didn't know you were so narrow-minded, really. it's shocking to see how much of an ass you've become. i tried to make conversation with you, but you totally ignored me, like as if you didn't hear anything, and i know you heard me. but no, you just turned your head away.
hate me, bitch about me, do whatever you want to make yourself feel better. just realize one thing, what you said about me hurt real bad. yes, you needed to vent out all that anger, but you failed to realize how I would feel after reading that post. thanks for everything man, from making me feel shitty to getting annoyed with everything around me. i've got nothing to say about you. sure, go tell the whole world that i'm a fucking despo. say whatever you want about me, i couldn't care less. :\
OH WELL, at least there's something to look forward to later. going for BAYBEATS 2007 in the evening. you better not be late again.
FUCK IT LAH. when i was on the phone with fatty last night, i was thinking about so many things, not knowing what to do. you just had to add some more problems, right? thanks a lot, really. you're the bomb.
hahaha, just now was hilarious! was supposed to meet Lucy at 6.15, told him not to be late, but he only came at 6.35. :\ it should be HIM waiting for ME right? HAHAHA, but nooo, he made ME wait instead. how thoughtful of him uhh. HAHA, had to rush like mad after that to CTK.
and oh my, session was goooood. :D Lucy's playing isn't bad man. haha, AND I SAW BEL THERE TOO! haha, stupid bel, stop jumping to conclusions ah. hahahah, i wanna go to CTK. ): HAHA. another outing tomorrow! :D
Friday, August 03, 2007
LALALA, HELLO LIZEE :D
hahaha, i'm high now. school was the bomb today, i woke up early without my alarm ringing, there's no night study today, and i'm going out tonight. :D HAHAHA, last night was crazy laaah. bloody accounts preject nonsense fried my brain cells man. only slept at about 1.30am. PFFT. haha, BUT NVM! i had company online so i wasn't feeling lonely. :D i swear you need english lessons lucien wong. hahaha, and he came up with a new name for POA. Puke On Accounts. HOW RETARDED! haha, stupid lucy. :D
and and when we were chatting, he suddenly went off. WHY? cos his house had a power failure. :D hhaha, blame the singaporeans for not paying their bills some more lah! this is retribution for all the cursing at them. :D HAHAHA. i need to wear specs. :\ welcome to the world of geeks, lizee.
I'M LOVING EVERYTHING NOW MAN! WHEEE, THANK YOU LORD! HAHAHA.
